My Journey into Joy: A Lyrical Reflection on How I Became a Christian Hedonist

Earlier this week, I attended the Desiring God Conference for Pastors and really enjoyed John Piper's stirring talk, "Saying Beautifully As a Way of Seeing Beauty: The Life of George Herbert and His Poetic Effort."

The talk inspired me to (1) do more reading of Herbert on my own (I've enjoyed Herbert's poetry off and on through the years, and am now working through A Year with George Herbert: A Guide to Fifty-Two of His Best Loved Poems); and (2) dust off a poem of my own, written fifteen or sixteen years ago.

It's of course nothing close to quality of George Herbert's poetry, but as I reread it today, I was pleased with the assonance and rhyme of the poem and its effectiveness in communicating my own experience. I think the meter could use a little work in a couple of places, and I know there are a few lines that are too...sentimental? corny? or just a little forced?

Nevertheless, I'm taking the leap and putting this out there for all the world (well, at least the two or three dozen people who actually follow this blog!) to see.

My Journey into Joy: A Lyrical Reflection on How I Became a Christian Hedonist 

I rehearse the verse before me

To tell about my journey

Into a new philosophy

            That has changed my paradigm.

It's about a quest for pleasure

A search for lasting treasure

Of joy that's without measure

            That increases beyond time.

I see the first small fraction

Of my thirst for satisfaction

From the beauty and attraction

            Of a God that's glorious

In the pursuit of childhood joys

Through games and friends and toys

That seemed without alloys

            In those youthful days of bliss.

Memories in my mind do swarm

Back beyond the country farm

To fun sought without harm

            Though insufficient to suffice;

And to the waking days of teen

When I found my soul was lean

And childhood games were not as keen

            Though once they did entice.

And so I sought for other things

Thinking that they would bring

The endless pleasure that would sing

            Inside my deepest heart.

Perhaps success would fill my life,

Or maybe a person (a wife!)

Would cause to cease the strife      

            That tore my soul apart.

But all to no avail!

Each "greater thing" grew pale,

And seemed nothing but a tale,

            That held no authentic meaning.

For in all this desperate seeking

I found broken cisterns leaking

With emptiness yet sneaking

            Upon the next-sought dream.

I slowly, gradually realized

That I had often idolized

The things that had mesmerized

            My soul, and promised mirth.

I began to seek repentance

Mixed with broken penitence

For placing such significance

            On the trifles of the earth.

But the process was a gradual one

With steps and misteps and some

Outright departures from

            The Lord who promised peace;

The path to joyful blessing

Was one of slow progressing

And not a little regressing

            To the worldly ways of ease.           

In thoughts of retrospect I'm viewing

The Good Hand of Providence wooing

My sinful heart, and renewing

            The thoughts of my mind.

I see Him stealthily speeding

Into my heart by leading

Me through Scripture reading

            To prospects of the glory I would find.

An insight of truth I would discover

A gem of beauty I'd uncover

About the Lord, my Eternal Lover

            The One Who seeks my best.

From James I wrote a reflection

On the purpose of tribulation

How it yields perfection

            To those who beneath it rest.

In Psalm thirty-seven four

I got a glimpse of more

That would cause my heart to soar

            About desire and it's slaking.

And then in Jeremiah two thirteen

Another puzzle piece was seen

That showed me how my heart was keen

            On sinful cisterns of human making.

A pilgrim, along this path I trod

When a hymn was also used by God

To wean my soul from earth and prod

            Me closer to Him (Oh, His grace!)

'Twas of Christ, the soul's true desire

(Though others after earth aspire)

And seeking to His worth admire

            While gazing on His face.

A little later I found a book

And by surprise my mind it took

And made me at my soul to look

            And re-assess my creed.

I found that I had become a Stoic

Because I thought it more heroic

To seek God's praise while apathetic

            To my own pleasure and my need.

From John Piper I learned that day

That joyless worship is not God's way,

Because it fails His glory to display

            When I do not seek Him for my pleasure.

For if He's glorious, I'll in Him find,

Enough beauty to satisfy the mind

And take my wandering heart and bind

            Me to him as my treasure.

The truth in all its grandeur

Shined forth in noontide splendor

And touched my heart now tender

            In a way I'd never known:

That God is in me most glorified

When I am in Him most satisfied

And this my quest for joy intensified

            And drew me to His throne.

Now insights in my mind still race

As I behold the wonder of His grace

That causes me to seek His face

            And find my joy in Him.

This joy I've learned will never cease

But throughout eternity will increase

In boundless discovery of the glories

            Of God my satisfaction.

I'm still learning to apply

This wondrous truth that sanctifies

My soul from sin and magnifies

            His great and glorious name.

But though imperfect in my action

God's filled me with a holy passion

That springs from the majestic vision

            Of God, Who is Ever-Same.

Let me conclude by speaking forth

In my own words this glorious truth

About my joy and God's worth

            That I have come to treasure:

God's glory is His great delight

Which He pursues with all His might

By causing us to set our sight

            On Him - Our eternal pleasure.